5 Surprising Ways to Support Your Loved One with an Eating Disorder

5 Surprising Ways to Support Your Loved One with an Eating Disorder

Knowing what to do to help your loved one with an eating disorder can be confusing, worrisome and at times downright frustrating.  But, you can’t just sit back and watch them suffer because you are concerned about their health and well-being.

You may feel like you don’t know what to say or do for fear of making their disorder worse. Or, you say well-intended words of encouragement only to result in a screaming match.

You are not alone.

You have probably heard the expression “Put on your oxygen mask before assisting others“, right?  This rings true for caring for a loved one with an eating disorder.  I am not suggesting that you don’t get treatment for your loved one with an eating disorder.  But, taking care of yourself is a must.

This post is not going to tell you exactly what to say or do to make the eating disorder magically disappear.  Instead, I’ll go over what you can do for yourself so you can be emotionally & physically available to support your loved one in their recovery.

Tips to support a loved one with their eating disorder:

Learn about eating disorders. 

Oftentimes eating disorders are misunderstood, even by well-respected medical providers.  Although eating disorders appear on the surface to be about food, they really aren’t.  Eating disorders help the suffer manage stress, uncomfortable feelings and give a sense of control.

Learning about the particular type of eating disorder your loved one has, the medical and psychological factors associated with it most likely will leave you feeling less overwhelmed.

The Eating Disorder Sourcebook by Caroline Costin is a great starting point because it gives a comprehensive overview of eating disorders.  Gurze Books is a publisher that exclusively publishes eating disorder books – they have books as well as workbooks.  Lastly, the National Eating Disorder Association has a wealth of information on their website.

Encourage treatment.

Unfortunately, eating disorders don’t go away on there own.   Often suffers initially don’t want to go to treatment because it can feel scary and overwhelming.  Or perhaps they are in denial about having an eating disorder.  Sufferers may try to recover from their eating disorder on their own, but it rarely works.

Adequate treatment is a must for full recovery.  Treatment is important to reduce medical risks associated with eating disorders and even death (Anorexia Nervosa has the highest mortality rate of all psychiatric conditions).

To learn more about what treatment involves read Building a Treatment Team to Help Conquer your Eating Disorder and treatment options.

Practice Good self-care.

Self-care is more than just a mani-pedi or a massage.  While those things may be part of your self-care routine, self-care means deliberate acts that you do to take care of your physical, mental and emotional health.

Examples of self-care could include: getting enough sleep, engaging in hobbies, spending time with friends, taking breaks, and setting limits at work and home.

Good self-care is needed by everyone but is particularly important to prevent burnout from caring for someone with an eating disorder. Furthermore, you are setting a good example by modeling good self-care for your loved one because self-care is a skill that is taught in eating disorder recovery.

Set boundaries. 

In the literal sense of the word, boundary means a dividing line.  Boundaries are often associated with dividing geographical space, for example, the boundary line between two countries.

In the world of psychology, boundaries mean the physical and emotional limits that separate your needs from others.  Boundaries make us feel safe and teaches others how to treat us.   Being honest about how you feel and asking for what you need (and don’t need) are signs of healthy boundaries.  Setting firm boundaries can also help you manages stress, avoid burnout and improve personal relationships.

When someone struggles with setting firm boundaries it can leave the person feeling like a “doormat”, manipulated and used and erodes self-esteem.

I see all too often that caretakers take on too much, or feel they have to help control their loved one’s eating disorder behaviors.  This is a lose-lose.   This can make the caretaker feel exhausted and it doesn’t allow the person with the eating disorder to take full responsibility for their own recovery.

Just as with self-care, learning how to set boundaries is a key component in eating disorder recovery.  So when you model firm boundaries you are helping your loved one!

Find support for yourself.

Having a loved one with an eating disorder can be challenging at times.  Additionally, the course of treatment for an eating disorder can be lengthy.  You probably have heard the phrase,”This is a marathon, not a sprint“. This certainly holds true for eating disorder recovery.  According to the National Eating Disorder Association, recovery can take months and even years.  Although there is no specific timeline for recovery my clinical experience informs that recovery takes at least a few years.

Finding support for yourself can help promote a healthy relationship with your loved one, reduce stress in the household or family and get unstuck from patterns of behavior that may be reinforcing the eating disorder.

Many parents, families, partners or spouses find it helpful to get professional support through support groups, group counseling or individual therapy.

Supporting a loved one with an eating disorder can be challenging, but can yield great rewards in your personal growth as well as your loved one.

I know I didn’t give you a cure-all to help your loved one recovery from their eating disorder.  But, I hope a gave you tools to help manage your stress, worry and make you a more effective support person for your loved one.

Remember: taking care of yourself will help your loved one by leaps and bounds in their recovery!

Are you looking to learn how to better support your loved one with an eating disorder?  Call now for a free 15 minute consultation.

5 Surprising Ways to Support Your Loved One with an Eating Disorder
tips to support eating disorder recovery this semester

Tips to Support Eating Disorder Recovery this Semester

It’s that time of year again—back-to-school! If you are in eating disorder recovery, sometimes transitioning back to school can be challenging. But with a little planning, patience, and resolve, you can continue to make progress in recovery.

I know my kids are excited about going back to school, sort of. They are looking forward to seeing all of their friends and being involved in sports, but not necessarily looking forward to the school work.

Hopefully this summer you have had a much-needed rest from writing papers, taking exams, and late-night study sessions. Maybe you did some traveling, worked, or just spent time with family and friends.

No matter what you did this summer, you can prepare yourself for a smooth transition back to school without interrupting your eating disorder recovery.


Pitfalls of eating disorder recovery when returning back to school:

1. Change in routine.

Returning to school, of course, can be exciting with seeing all of your friends. You may be even excited to start new coursework. However, change in routine when in recovery can be tough. Routines make us feel comfortable because we know what to expect. Routines can help you stay on track with your meal plan, treatment appointments, and sleeping habits. Disruption in routine can mean a disruption of established patterns of recovery.

2. More demands.

Returning to school is associated with an increase in demands and deadlines due to coursework plus navigating relationships, social life, extracurricular activities, and for some, a part-time job. It is not unusual to see an increase in eating disorder thoughts and even symptoms when stress increases.

3. Increase in independence.

You probably love the independence of living on your own or with roommates and making your own choices when at school. If you spent a good portion of your summer with loved ones, you may have their support in your treatment and recovery.  Of course, as an emerging adult, having your parents’ input may feel somewhat annoying after a while. But in any case, as you ease your way back into school, you may have increased stress because your support system isn’t readily available.

4. Comparison Trap.

It is in our DNA to compare ourselves with others. Evolutionarily, comparison helped us decipher threats from safety. As our brain has evolved, comparison has been used to help with our social-neural network. It helps us learn more about ourselves—for example, what we are good at and what we are not.

I knew early on in life I was not going to be a mathematician, and I am sure comparing myself to others helped me understand that. But I did understand that I was good in the sciences. This is an example of how comparisons can be helpful, not harmful.

Conversely, comparing ourselves with others all of the time can be detrimental. During adolescence and young adulthood, it is easy to fall into the comparison trap, constantly comparing yourself to others as you are trying to figure out who you are away from your family. The comparison trap can be especially challenging for those in recovery because it can make you second guess what you are eating, how you are exercising, and other health behaviors.

5. Diet culture.

In the world of eating disorder treatment, the constant barrage of messages about dieting and how we should look is termed “diet culture.” Diet culture is alive and well in our country. It feels like on college campuses, diet culture is “on steroids,” so to speak. It reinforces the habit of comparing ourselves to others to see how we are supposed to look and feed ourselves. Instead of teaching us to listen to what our own body needs, it makes us question how we feed ourselves. It makes us feel disconnected from our bodies and food. Conversely, a key component of eating disorder recovery is to tune into our bodies and tune out societal messages.  Diet culture can easily make you feel like a fish swimming upstream.


Although there are some potential obstacles to eating disorder recovery when returning to school, there are several ways to keep the momentum of recovery going over the fall semester.

5 tips to stay on track with eating disorder recovery during the fall semester:

1. Get support from your treatment team.

Seek support early on in the semester, even if you think you don’t need it. You may have made strides over the summer in your recovery. Extra support during schedule changes can help you move light years ahead in your recovery. Whatever your fall schedule looks like, strategize ahead of time. How are you going to keep on top of your meal plan, self-care, and treatment appointments? Collaborate with your treatment team in advance about your schedule.

2. Say no to perfectionism.

There is a quote that goes, “Strive for progress, not perfection.” I love this quote and often say it to myself.  Most folks with eating disorders do struggle with perfectionism. As perfectionists, we can want to do a good job and put in lots of effort in our work. However, striving to be perfect when we live in an imperfect world can be paralyzing, exhausting, and it can erode our self-esteem. Perfectionism can flare up eating disorder symptoms as well.

School and peer groups can also trigger some of those thoughts of having to be perfect or the best. So as you are setting academic, social, and personal goals this semester, focus on progress and doing a “good enough” job rather than a perfect one.

3. Self-care.

Often, folks think that taking care of themselves is an act of selfishness. Self-care is not being selfish. Self-care is about paying attention to your physical and emotional needs in order for you to avoid burnout, whether it be from school, in recovery, or in life.

Practicing self-care helps you to have the physical and emotional energy to thrive. Self-care could include: taking a bath, getting a pedicure,  getting adequate sleep, connecting with a friend, setting boundaries (saying “no”), doing something creative, spending time alone, and giving yourself permission to simply be.

4. Ask for help.

Talk with your family, loved ones, or support person about how you plan to stay on track with your eating disorder recovery. Discuss potential areas of concern, learn how to ask for help, and communicate areas of success to loved ones. Interact regularly with your treatment team, particularly if you feel like you are struggling.

5. Learn to say no.

Taking on too much, particularly early on in eating disorder recovery, is an easy way to get derailed. This may mean saying “no” to fun social engagements, taking less coursework, or working fewer hours at a job.  Do you want to learn how to say no confidently?

Sign up here to get my free guide “25 Ways to Say No Politely For Those in Eating Disorder Recovery“!

While there are ways to hinder eating disorder recovery over the semester, with planning and persistence, you can keep recovery front and center!

tips to support eating disorder recovery this semester

tips to support eating disorder recovery this semester

5 Steps to Reconnect with Exercise in Eating Disorder Recovery

5 Steps to Reconnect with Exercise in Eating Disorder Recovery

If you have an eating disorder or have chronically dieted, your relationship with exercise may be complicated. Most folks would agree that exercise is a good thing, but in our thin-obsessed world, a well-intended trip to the gym can wreak havoc on one’s mental and physical health.

The following are warning signs that your relationship with exercise may be problematic:

1.Exercise is used exclusively to change your body weight or shape.

Exercise can start out harmless enough. Maybe you were working out to improve heart health or to be a better athlete. In any case, your intentions for exercise were good.

We are bombarded with messages about how, when, and why we should exercise. Exercise gurus are selling programs that try to guarantee we will look a certain way upon completion.  With these types of messages, our relationship with exercise can start to change.

Exercise becomes more about how you look rather than the enjoyment of exercise itself. The truth is that body size and shape are determined mainly by genetics. Furthermore, our bodies are constantly changing because of the aging process.

2.  Exercise is used to “make-up” for eating “mistakes”. 

Many public health campaigns promote messages like “If you eat a donut it will take this many minutes of exercise to burn the donut off.”  This line of thinking disconnects us from both the eating and the exercise experience.

It is hard to enjoy what you are eating if all you are thinking about is how many laps around the track you will need to run in order to compensate for it.  These types of messages often lead to feelings of guilt if a workout is missed.  They make us mindless, not mindful, eaters and exercisers.

The bottom line is: food is needed in order to survive.  It is not a privilege earned.

3. Exercise is initiated when a new dieting or “lifestyle” is also started. 

Contrary to popular belief, exercise is not an effective method for weight loss, but it is a positive influencer of health.

Many diets come along with a plan for movement. The problem is that once you go off the diet (which isn’t your fault, by the way, diets fail, not the people on them) then movement stops too. This leads to a habitual pattern of exclusively exercising when dieting, reinforcing the use of exercise to change the size or look of our bodies.

Unfortunately, many diet programs, so-called health experts, and public health campaigns promote these problematic thought patterns which can lead to the misuse of and disconnection from physical activity.

A troublesome relationship with exercise can lead to:

1.Over-exercising.

Over-exercising is often associated with eating disorders.  It entails rigidity around movement (including intensity, type, and amount), exercising in order to give yourself permission to eat, and missing other obligations because of your exercise regimen.  Over-exercising can lead heart problems, dehydration, stress fractures, loss of menstrual cycle in females, and muscular-skeletal problems.

2. Avoidance of exercise. 

There are several reasons why you may not exercise.  Trust me, if you have chronically dieted, laziness is not one of them.

Maybe you subscribe to the belief that movement dramatically changes your body size.  However, studies show that exercise is not an effective weight loss method. Therefore, you may feel fed-up with exercise and stop as it fails to provide the intended weight loss.

Unfortunately, weight stigma is alive and well in our society.  Weight stigma is associated with a decrease in exercise. So if you live in a larger body (vs. the culturally prescribed thin ideal), most likely you have experienced weight stigma.

Being physically uncomfortable, not feeling like you are good at exercise, or having had a traumatic experience around exercise are frequent reasons why people avoid exercise.

Whether you avoid exercise, over-exercise, or fall somewhere in between there are things that you can do to improve your relationship with exercise.  

Before starting an exercise routine make sure that you have had a physical exam.  If you are in treatment for an eating disorder talk with your treatment team first before starting exercise.  If you have experienced trauma, bullying, or humiliation around physical activity it may be helpful to explore past experiences with a therapist.

I love to use the word “reconnect” when talking about exercise.  In the same way dieting or an eating disorder disconnects us from our experience with food, rigid exercise patterns or avoidance of movement also disconnects us from the possible joy and benefits of physical activity.

Tips to reconnect with exercise:

  1.  Experiment with different types of movement.  Ask yourself: Do I like to be outside?  Are classes something I enjoy?  Do I like to sweat?  Is listening to music something I enjoy?  Do I like to be social during movement? Do I like to play sports instead of going to the gym or hiking? Answering these questions may give you clues about what types of movement you may find most enjoyable.
  2. Notice how movement makes you feel.  Ask yourself, “Do my body and mind like this type of movement?” Different types of movement may feel different to different people.  Notice if the movement makes you feel less stressed, anxious, or uncomfortable.
  3. Be flexible.  Don’t impose rules on the amount, type, and frequency of exercise you do. Go by how you feel.  For example, if you have been sitting all day it may feel good to get up and do some movement.  If you have been on your feet all day, it may feel better to do some gentle stretching or to put your feet up and relax.
  4. Give yourself permission to rest.  Sometimes your body and mind won’t feel like exercising.  That’s more than okay.  Give yourself permission to rest when your body needs it.
  5. Be patient.  If you have struggled with food, body image, and exercise issues for a while, it may take time and practice to build a more connected relationship with movement.

The bottom line is that through listening to your body, patience, and practice you can find the type of movement that is right for you to promote both your mental and physical health.

Would you like to receive helpful tips for eating disorder or diet recovery?  Click here!

5 steps to reconnect with exercise in eating disorder recovery
5 steps to reconnect with exercise
summer eating disorder recovery college student

How to Stay on Track with Eating Disorder Recovery during the Summer: Tips for College Students

Keeping on top of your eating disorder recovery can be tough during the summer months if you are a college student.

Summers in Texas are hot.  I mean sweaty hot.  Despite the heat, I love summer because it usually means more free time to spend with family & friends, fewer demands and most importantly – vacation.  Everything just feels a little more relaxed during the summer.  Summers in my college days were the best, whether I was taking a few summer courses, traveling abroad or hanging out home.

Keeping recovery a top priority during summer can be tough if you are a college student.  Whether you are heading home or staying close to campus, eating disorders can become exacerbated in the summer.

Pitfalls of eating disorder recovery in the summer:

  1. Change in routine.  During the summer schedules change.  Most students are relieved because schedules become much less demanding during the summer.  However, change in routine can be tough.   Routines make us feel comfortable because we know what to expect.  Routines can help you stay on track with your meal plan, treatment appointments, sleeping habits, etc.  Disruption in routine can mean a disruption of established patterns of recovery.
  2. Less structured time.  One common struggle in eating disorder recovery is being able to tolerate unstructured time.  It isn’t uncommon for eating disorder sufferers to have an increase in eating disorder thoughts and behaviors when feeling bored, lonely, etc. During the summer there tends to be a lot more unstructured time.
  3. Reduction or increase in independence.  Depending on your living situation, you may experience a decrease in independence if you are returning home for summer to live with your family.  Returning to the family home may cause some stress because you are used to living away at college and making your own decisions.  Or, if you are traveling or working away from family and friends, you may have a significant decrease in social support.
  4. Exacerbation of body image disturbance.   Because of summer temperatures, we spend more time in bathing suits, short sleeves, and shorts which can often increase body checking and preoccupation of body weight and shape/size which can lead to an increase in eating disorder behaviors.

Although there are some potential obstacles during summer, there are several ways to keep the momentum of recovery going over the summer months.

4 tips to stay on track with eating disorder recovery during summer:

  1.  Keep eating disorder recovery a priority. It is summer break from school, but not from recovery.   Keep recovery front and center if you don’t want to backslide on the progress you have made!  There are several ways to keep recovery a priority such as having regular check-ins with your treatment team, journaling about your progress and areas to improve on, reading books & articles about recovery, attending support groups, etc.
  2. Make a plan.  Whatever your summer plans are, strategize ahead of time. How are you going to keep on top of your meal plan, self-care and treatment appointments?  Talk to your treatment team in advance about your summer schedule. Collaborate with them on your care over during the summer months.
  3. Ask for help. Talk with your family, loved ones or support person about how you plan to stay on track with your eating disorder recovery.  Discuss potential areas of concern,  learn how to ask for help and communicate areas of success to loved ones.  Interact regularly with your treatment team, particularly if you feel like you are struggling.
  4. Learn to say no.  Taking on too much, particularly early on in eating disorder recovery, is an easy way to get derailed.  This may mean saying “no” to fun social engagements, a job, an internship or a vacation in order to spend time on your recovery.

While there are ways to hinder eating disorder recovery over the summer, with planning and persistence you can keep recovery front and center!

Are you interested in learning more tips about eating disorder recovery?  If so, sign-up for free tips here!

 

summer eating disorder recovery college student
summer eating disorder recovery college student
treatment team

Building a Treatment Team to Help You Conquer Your Eating Disorder

I am sure you have heard the African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child”.   The same can be said for treating an eating disorder.  It takes a village.  When it comes to treating & recovering from an eating disorder the village looks like medical professionals, friends, and family.

Having the support system in place when seeking treatment can make all the difference. All too often I have clients who have been struggling for years with an eating disorder who haven’t ever had a true treatment team in place. Without one, the likelihood of a full recovery is often greatly reduced.

Who should you look toward to build your treatment team?

If you’re struggling with anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa or binge eating disorder, it’s crucial to build up your support system. The types of people you should look toward when creating your treatment team are:

A Medical Doctor

Establishing good medical care is a must in the treatment of an eating disorder.  Unlike, many psychological disorders, eating disorders can have serious medical consequences–in some cases resulting in death.   Eating disorders can cause severe medical problems such as heart conditions, hypoglycemia, kidney failure, poor bone health and even death. Medical care for an eating disorder can include a physical assessment, laboratory tests such as blood work, EKG, etc.

While you may have an established care provider whom you see for routine care, it is important that you find a doctor that has experience treating eating disorders. Doctors not trained in treating eating disorders may overlook symptoms or not know what to assess for and may miss or minimizes symptoms that the sufferer is experiencing. A good place to start is the Medical Guide for Eating Disorders.

Psychotherapist

At first glance, an eating disorder may appear to be about food.  But if you suffer from an eating disorder or have a loved one with an eating disorder you may have already begun to realize that eating disorders are not really about food. Rather, eating disorders emerge as a way to cope with life.  People develop eating disorders for many different reasons and the role of the psychotherapist is help the sufferer find healthier ways to cope with life instead of using eating disorder behaviors.

Most folks with eating disorders also have a co-occuring mental health condition such as anxiety and/or depression.  The psychotherapist also helps the sufferer with co-occurring conditions.

Psychotherapist, therapist for short, is a general term for clinicians trained in psychotherapy.  A therapist could by a psychologist (has a Ph.D. in psychology), a licensed clinical social worker, a marriage family therapist or a licensed professional counselor (the later hold at minimum a master’s degree).  Lastly, a psychiatrist is a physician who can provide therapy and prescribed medications for mental health conditions.

Not all therapists have a lot of training in the treatment of eating disorders, just like when selecting a physician, be sure to select one that has experience with treating an eating disorder.

Psychiatrist

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who is specifically trained in the diagnosis and treatment of mental health conditions. They are trained in psychotherapy, like a therapist, but also can assess the need for medication in treating mental health conditions. A psychiatrist, due to their training as doctors, can also rule out any underlying medical or medications that may be contributing to mental health problems.  Some psychiatrists focus on prescribing and managing medications while others will manage medication and do psychotherapy.

On your team, you may have a psychiatrist that provides both psychotherapy and medication management or see a psychiatrist for medication management and a therapist for psychotherapy.

A Registered Dietitian

If you have an eating disorder, you probably already know a lot about food.  You probably know how many calories, how much fat and how many grams of sugar are in different foods.  You’re probably an expert on the latest diets. So you may be asking yourself, “Why do I need to see a dietitian for my recovery if I already know so much about food?”.

But remember, eating disorders are not really about food.  Food and eating disorder behaviors are used to cope with stress, relationship struggles, worry, and other uncomfortable feelings.

With this in mind, we know that knowledge about food is not the issue, but rather how you relate to food.  A registered dietitian can support you in your recovery. They will help to ensure that you’re eating enough food consistently throughout the day and help untangle food facts from food myths.

One final note:

It’s important to make sure that all or the majority of the members of the treatment team have experience treating eating disorders.  Here are some questions to ask when interviewing clinicians for your treatment team:

  1.  What are your credentials?  For example, do you hold a license to practice therapy or nutritional services?
  2. Do you belong to any professional eating disorder groups where you receive on-going education to stay-up-to-date on the treatment of eating disorders?
  3. How long have you been treating clients with eating disorders?
  4. What is your philosophy for treating eating disorders?
  5. Do you have other clinicians that you can refer me to in order to help me with my recovery?
  6. How often will you communicate with other clinicians on my treatment team?
  7. How often can I expect to see you?
  8. When do you typically see clients (day, evening, weekends, for example)?
  9. How will you assess my progress?
  10. What is the typical length of treatment for my type of eating disorder?
  11. Will you bill my health insurance carrier or will I need to do that?
treatment team
treatment team
rejecting diet mentality

Rejecting the Diet Mentality is Key to Healing Your Relationship with Food

We are inundated with messages about what to eat and what not to eat. This is not a new phenomenon—it has been happening since at least the 1970s (if not earlier). With the internet and social media at our fingertips, we are receiving diet advice from so-called experts constantly.

In spite of all this, Americans’ relationship with food seems more screwed up than ever. This plethora of diet messages leaves us even more confused about how to feed ourselves. Diet messages leave us feeling guilty or ashamed of food choices as if we broke some moral code.

If you struggle with food or have a full-blown eating disorder, my guess is that you have been on at least one diet, if not several. Dieting – or the diet mentality – is the real culprit behind eating problems.

The downside of dieting

There is good evidence that dieting doesn’t work for weight loss, and some studies show that dieting leads to weight gain, problematic eating behaviors (such as binge eating), and problematic exercise behaviors. Dieting is a risk factor for developing an eating disorder. Dieting erodes self-esteem and physical and mental health.

Only about 5% of dieters can keep lost weight off. Remember: it’s the diets that fail, not the people on them. Diets are an ineffective (and in some cases dangerous) prescription for weight loss and health.

Dieting gets in the way of our innate ability to feed ourselves. Diets ask us to drink liquid shakes, eat at certain times (no matter if we are hungry or not), eat foods that we may or may not like, oversimplify foods as either “good” or “bad,” and count calories or grams. They don’t take into consideration our culture or bank account.

Diets disconnect us from ourselves.

What is the diet mentality?

The diet mentality is the way of thinking about food and how to feed yourself based on past diets you have been on or read about.

Another way to think about it is simply “diet talk” or other food rules.

The diet mentality can be that inner voice that says, “I shouldn’t eat that. It will make me gain weight,” or “I am only eating clean.” Or it can be that well-meaning fitness instructor who says, “We are burning off all those extra calories we ate over the weekend,” or Aunt Susan stating at Sunday dinner, “I have been so good today. I can have a slice of pie.”

Rejecting the diet mentality allows us to connect with the intuitive eating ability we are all born with, in order to reconnect and heal our relationship with food.

Tips for rejecting the diet mentality

Name it.

When you see, hear, or think about messages about food, notice if it is diet talk. Here are some examples of the diet mentality:

  • “I shouldn’t eat after 8 pm.”
  • “Don’t eat anything with added sugar.”
  • “Running for 30 minutes burns off so many calories.”

In these examples, do you see how these messages are blanket statements that may or may not apply to you? The kicker is that once one of these diet rules is “broken,” you are left feeling guilty and bad about yourself. Never mind that you were hungry and hadn’t eaten since lunchtime.

Evaluate whether the message is helpful or harmful.

Diet rules were intended to help us in our relationship with food, but as stated above, they do not actually do this.

  • Does your diet get you where you want to be?
  • Does it leave you feeling good or like crap about yourself?
  • Does the thought help you feed yourself the way you want to on a routine basis?
  • Would you feel confident giving this advice to a dear friend?

Thoughts that may be more helpful include, “If I eat red sauce, I most likely end up with heartburn” or “When I overeat, I feel physically uncomfortable.” These thoughts provide detailed information about how to feed yourself. They connect you with your body and eating experience.

Practice, practice and more practice.

It takes a lot of practice to recognize the diet mentality for what it is. It will get easier with time, and there is no problem with seeking help if you need it.

 

For more information on how to reject the diet mentality, check out Intuitive Eating or schedule your consult today.

rejecting diet mentality
rejecting diet mentality infographic